W.A.L.T recall  events through the eyes of an animal.

Success Criteria

I know I will be successful when my recount has a

• Title
• Orientation:when,who,where,why.  
• Sequence of events:  What happened?
• Personal comment: How did the events make you feel?

The red is my improvements.

              Scariest Day ever

                   Second draft The buffaloes are walking along the river bank. It was a bright sunny day but then I said OMG! I can see a group of lions! I told my dad but he would not listen. I just kept telling him, but he could not hear me. His big feet were too big and he was making a lot of stomping noises. Then I told my mother and she thought I was joking, to scared the buffalos but then she saw some prides of lions. Then that is when my dad stopped.   Then he  roared like a mighty Lion King. But the lion did not get scared then he said run for your lives. The lion's started to run after US! But then one of the lion got me. I felt hurtful and terrified and they tackled me into the river. But then a few minute suddenly a crocodile swam up and tried to take me away from the lions so then they had a game of tug of war I felt like I was  the rope. I thought that I would break in half I was scared. But then I felt the ground thumping like thunder I was surprised that my mum and dad they came back. I just could not wait I started to say mum dad help me mum said that what we are for I was scared I thought that they will never get me.